Inspiration

The following writing is about a soul who died that I did not know, but the writing about his LIFE was so compelling that I wanted to share it. Richard was no ordinary individual. Driven to understand how the world worked and how people worked, Rich lived most of his life in thought and in study. Whether it was how people communicated with language and syntax, how the universe, planets, moons and black holes came to be, particle physics, or trying to make sense of Yogi Berra-isms, he was almost always in thought. If not reading, he was very often writing, mostly letters to scientists, mathematicians, linguists, elected officials, fashion designers, celebrities, even royalty.

As a child, Rich was as mischievous as he was precocious. He was also gifted with an exceptional mind and intellect. His knowledge of facts and analytical skills seemed other worldly and, at times, could be as much a curse as a blessing. His drive to understand was, in his youth, occasioned by puzzlement and even defensiveness from those who may have felt threatened by his directness and persistence. Like us all, his strengths were accompanied by weakness and fragility. Accomplished as an extraordinary student, debater, writer, and Latin scholar through his school years in Galesburg, he was wracked with seemingly equal doses of self-doubt and insecurity. It seemed Rich was all too aware of how vast life and the world around him was. With so little time to solve all of the riddles, his pursuit of truth, beauty and honesty, became all-consuming and maybe overwhelming. He lost perspective and lost his way in his first year of college at Amherst College. At that very tender age and critical juncture, he was sent home where, bent but not broken, he regrouped for a time at Knox College before moving to Champaign where he completed his undergraduate degree and then earned a doctorate in the field of linguistics.

Full of ideas, energy, and questions, Rich set out to tackle the world. But his passion and dogged curiosity for truth carried with it a focus that could and did challenge his sense of boundaries. And, before it even had a chance to be birthed, his career as a university professor stalled and eventually derailed. So, Richard became a community college professor and eventually a tutor to students at the University of Illinois for several years.

Richard’s interests were vast, and intense. They included trying to understand people and the human condition. He turned some of his attention to matters of public policy, community affairs, and politics in Champaign. Once again, his candor and directness took its toll and forced upon him a new path. He became a resident of Florida where his parents, had retired. Many miles from his roots in downstate Illinois and his life in academia, Richard found himself in need of help. He found it at an assisted living facility dedicated to individuals suffering from severe and chronic mental illness. His passion had grown to become what was diagnosed as the manic side of manic depression; his depression borne of his acute sense of the promise lost and the life and career he had worked so diligently to build. As his illness became more acute and complex, he was tormented with thoughts and fears that would become crippling at times, and eventually life threatening.

Richard became a resident of South County where he lived out his days with dozens of others whose lives and stories were, in many ways different, but in other more fundamental ways much the same. Upon his passing, he was remembered by his friends and neighbors as kind, considerate, brilliant, and ready to help others when and where he could. He tutored peers who had not yet learned to read and write. And he freaked out people with his command and use of the English language, something he had done to those who knew him from his earliest years. For all of his accomplishments, the most amazing of qualities may have been his abiding humility and modesty.

Rich loved many things: music of all kinds, but particularly film scores and his nephew’s original compositions which they enjoyed together. He also loved movies, movie stars, the beauty found in art, literature, nature, and the faces and souls of those around him. As a boy, he also loved sports and was a natural switch hitter whose enjoyment of our countless days of whiffle ball was second to none. He proclaimed himself the Commissioner of our league (there was no league) and he pronounced the few rules that governed; first and foremost was, first pick or the next two. (This rule also applied when we made a pan of Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies.). His swing from the left side was so smooth and easy, it could have been stolen from Willie McCovey or Mack Jones. Maybe it was…………….

A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

Albert Einstein

What is honor compared to a woman’s love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms . . . or the memory of a brother’s smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.

John Irving